Long Distant Relationships

Everyone would think that by looking at the title.. "Yea this is all about a boy girl relationship." Well my friend, think again. This could be a close friend or of someone closer, a family member perhaps. But of course, we would not leave out the boy-girl-relationship or the abbreviated 'BGR'.

My mom recently met up with her school friend. This friend was her classmate during secondary school, sharing the good old times, stories and what notorious things they did during lessons or with the teachers. I joined them for lunch and I had to pick up the details of how my life would be if I were to keep in touch with my secondary school friends. I was predicting that this would be exactly the enactment of the future after we have turned 48.

Then I thought to myself that, this might be a good thing once in a while. To do exactly what my mom did. We can't just totally move on away from the past. We must sometimes visit the past when we can and bring back old memories. It does some good to our health as well as of a health book I read a few days back. The way I see this, I look at it as a long distant relationship. It is in the mind that this relationship is distant enough to almost forget someone or a moment in your life that you will have missed.

I am in the midst of going through that process, that I would start forgetting my friends and the jolly good times we did in class together and all the nuisance we did like shooting a rubber band off my geography teacher's arse. That was unforgettable. Right now, I can just reminisce it but to have it replay live, I wouldn't get that kind of memory back. It has become a long distant relationship.

Besides that, talking literally about long distant relationships, it's the other half who lives miles away, let's say in a different country. This kind of relationship is the hardest to remain - to last even. You can keep in touch through email, snail mail, phone, video chat or simply just a small text through any means but that would never work. I guess that is why not many are married this way.

Come to think of it, relationships do get people tangled, committed and worry. I wonder how is it like for someone to have no relationships whatsoever and be free from everyone everywhere. He would only think of himself and not get so deep in anything of bonding. He would enjoy the purest of freedom!

Is It A Feeling of Death?

I was holding my stomach with both my palms pressing on it as hard like as though that would help ease the pain. But the truth is, it didn't. I crouched like a squirrel in hibernation on the bed close to the edge. Burying my face in the messy blankets, my face was scrunching up and my eyes squeezed hard till droplets came flowing down. The pain was a much more than normal diarrhea pains that I previously had. It was as though a devil was pulling my stomach. I moaned and shouted faintly hoping that would release pain a little. Then again, it kept coming back. I know I couldn't scream forever or put pressure on my stomach. At that moment, I did not care about anything. Even if the president of Japan was there or whether I was in a public sidewalk, I didn't care at all. All I ever cared about then, was me. Yes, at these kinds of situation, I get a lot selfish!

My sisters were lazing around the room but noticed me crouching on the bed. They thought it was just a small stomach ache and me exaggerating. They alerted mom through the room phone and she was at my side after 3 minutes or so. By then, the pain was slowly fading. Feeling a little relieved, I dropped curled on the bed but I know this pain was going to return. Mom, thinking that I didn't eat the right food, went to get bottled water for me to replenish the insides. I didn't know if that would work, but whatever she was doing, I didn't care. I just wanted the pain to stop.

Then, there was an urge my body was about to get. An urge to get something out of my body. I felt a lump in my throat. Something warm and liquid came up my throat. I was going to throw up. I could not walk because when my stomach stretch into a straight position, the pain would worsen. I had to crawl and I had to do it fast. On my fours, I moved to the sink, got myself up on my feet but slouching. I threw up. All that came out was the last meal I had - dinner the day before. On instinct, I searched for blood or blood-like coloured substance. There wasn't any. Thank God! After gargling from the taste of the vomit and wiping the droplets around my lips, I dropped to the floor of the sink. I went pale. My throat was sore from the acidic vomit.

I gathered the energy I had left to the bed. I crawled slowly. I had my thermal underwear on (both suit), jeans, a turtle neck winter jumper and woolly socks on and yet I still felt cold in the room. I didn't even think about the room's heater. I cuddled under the blankets, shivering as I close my eyes.

Mom came back from the room next door with bottled water and bread. I didn't feel like consuming anything or getting anything down my already sored throat. I forced myself although I know my body is trying to trick me into starving. I wouldn't let it, that's for sure. True enough, when I took a sip, the urge to vomit came instantly. The spirit in my body, trying to reject it is absolutely doing a great job. Thing is, I was too weak to fight it.

Everyone went for breakfast but mom stayed with me for a while. She gathered the soiled clothes and had them washed and dried. The urge came back again. This time, I couldn't hold it, I ran to the sink and threw up. The volume of vomit for the second throw up wasn't that much. Cleaned up and went straight to bed. I held the covers close to my body, getting under as many sheets as possible. Mom made me hot Milo (something like hot chocolate) but then again, I was reluctant to drink it. I tried nibbling on the bread, I could not. My body was being so stubborn!

Mom didn't store up medication for vomiting or nausea and there wasn't any drug store in the vicinity. I had to deal with the problems my body threw at me. I was in bed throughout breakfast and lunch. Got to know that I had a bad fever but had no means of measuring the intensity. My siblings came in with cup noodles bought off the hotel's vending machine. They were so kind as to leave some for me - of different flavours each - Tom Yam and Seafood. The pain has faded away but I was still too weak to move about and too dizzy. My head started spinning every time I make a move or try to get up.

I could eat then, lifting the food from the cup to my mouth using the wooden chopsticks. I drank the Milo that has become cold a little. Mom brought me hot tea as she just had the water boiled. I felt terrible. I could not join my siblings skiing outside and enjoying the sun, looking well and healthy. How I missed doing that when I was in bed. Just could not stand being sick and in bed, feeling helpless about the world. It was as though I was slowing down the world, trying to depress it even more.

After eating the noodles, I vomited once more. I could stretch my torso this time so I ran to the sink. It was as though I didn't eat anything. I threw up what I just ate and that was it. I was fed up with my body's reaction. I can't help it. If only there was a drug store somewhere near that I could rush to. Even the reception doesn't dispense drugs. I knocked out on the bed after the last time I vomited.

After the whole day of shut eye, I got better. Finally got up to join the others. The pain had disappeared though I was still a little numb in the head. I fought the weakness I had in me. I knew that I couldn't stay in bed the whole day until morning the next day. Went to the foot of the ski hill in my jacket and boots to get some fresh air. I met my siblings and my parents there and went for dinner straight.

My legs wouldn't let me walk any faster than the pace of an old man in his late 80s. Walking so frigidly due to the cold, I reached the table at the hotel's restaurant. I totally lost my appetite. I have no idea where it went to. I was able to eat only a small portion of porridge and a few cuts of Japanese sweet apple and also drank something nutritious and refreshing - orange juice. I felt so much at ease getting to be with everyone else in their activities.

I had a better night that night. As I lay down in bed, under the multiple covers that made me warm and cosy, I thought to myself, "What a Christmas..."

Learning a New Language

My cousin had a formal engagement on the 28th February at 3.30pm. I am told that after class, I was to head to her place via train. All dressed up, I went to la mia corso d'italiano (my Italian course) at 1 in the afternoon. It is situated adjacent to Raffles Hotel. The class was rather exciting as always. During break, we had a thoughtful discussion con la mia insegnante (with my teacher). We discussed about the personalities people who wants to learn a new language have. A handful of those in my class have also learnt francese (French) which was of an advantage but that's besides the point.

I realize that for someone to learn a new language, he has to first have the interest in the language. Of course not only of what I have mentioned, but also the country of origin, its culture, tradition, people, etc. This truly makes the learning process of the language colourful. Better if it is 3 hours straight with an interval at an hour and a half.

Then, he has to be committed to learning it. It is only right to pay for something you will want to pursue in or to add on a necessary skill or perhaps to kill probable time. It is more like a motivation he has to have that keeps him wanting to learn everytime.

Thereafter, he needs to be patient. Learning a new language, especially at a certain age, is hard to absorb.

As it is scientifically proven, a younger mind is able to absorb knowledge faster than of someone who is older. I don't believe in the proven fact because young kids have more motivation to learn about things. They do not have a purpose as to why they are learning it and they tend to pick up anything they are taught. It seems rather fascinating and of awe to them. But to someone who is older and is able to divide the purposeful things and the unnecessary ones will probably not be able to 'want' to absorb as much. As to what I think, they narrow things down in their mind and start pushing away unwanted knowledge that they think would not benefit them. To make things simple, what I mean is that 'they don't care'.

That was simply a side tracked subject but more towards elaborating it in a more detailed manner as to how I think. I may not know what your reactions are to how and why I think it that way, but that's up to you to decide. I would love to hear your comments, grazie.

So, back to patience. There are a million things to learn about a new language but it definitely needs a lot of patience to make the learning work.

Picking up words of a different language is almost the same as picking up a new word from the language that you know and am familiar with at an intermediate status or expert. Only thing is, it is spelled differently and pronunced differently. That's how I look at learning a new language - learning new English words.

Well, with all the characteristics in mind, anyone would be able to learn any language be it as a mother tongue or something novel. That would help much.

We carried on with the course and as I was about to leave the building, I could see through the main glass doors that it was pouring heavily as it is now. What went through my mind was the array of food that would be served at the engagement ceremony. I had my stomach tuned to what I would expect at her place. I had not eaten lunch then. Avevo molto fame ( I was very hungry).

Fortunately, a classmate drove 4 of us to a train station and we departed from there. I received a text saying I was to head back home because the ceremony was over. I knew I would miss it.

What is Liah thinking?

There is a woman who seems to be into religion and has tasted the goods of it. But the thing is, she has not seen herself as to how she taste them. Her name is Liah.

Liah has more than enough children and all of them are being brought up with much discipline. She was once a lost soul - a wandering one. She found the path from God and directed her senses towards the Heavens above during her mid ages. She signed up for religious classes and sits for religious talks every Wednesday and Friday respectively. Liah learns a great deal about her mislead life.

Gaining all these knowledge, she figured that she would be better off if she were to teach and to forward the knowledge to her children. And so little by little, she does so when she has the chance with each of them privately. Maybe one or two of them picked up but the others just can't be bothered to try to familiarize themselves and side the good faith staunchly. Liah finds patience as a simple virtue.

She develops a conscious state of mind about how people want to characterize themselves. Some of them being self-thoughtful, selfish and narrow-minded. She talks about them to her children. Liah never fails to lead the conversation to God. It has only been a few months since she has been more towards the guidance of being a staunch believer.

A few times her son said things he only preach but never practice. He speaks his own mind and considers nothing in the way. Liah confronted other means to ease her thoughtful mind.

"He is just not conscious of what he is doing. Does he realize what he is saying? Is he even in the right mind to say that. I mean, look at himself. I don't think he knows what came out of his mouth. You see, some people who don't follow religion closely tend to become lost and unknown for. God will make them go even more astray."

[The rest of the story, I will let you decide. But what I want to bring across is, don't think you are perfect and tell others that they are not because you yourself are not perfect. Look at yourself and feel guilty about it before asking others to look at those who are acting innocent about wanting to be perfect. That is, to me, a greater sin that what already exists to be in the eyes of the ones who pleads guilty.]